By Nick Manteris · 0 Comments · Leave a Comment
There were two new flavors (or is it colors?) of “Game Fuel” World of Warcraft-branded Mountain Dew (or is it Mtn Dew now?) in the convenient store the other day. Deciding to try one, I read the fine print: red was “Dew with a blast of citrus cherry flavor” and blue was “Dew with a punch of wild fruit flavor.” (Apparently they are flavors after all.) The possibility of fruit punch goodness outweighed my concerns over the alarmingly unnatural color and I picked the blue one.
Upon opening, the smell that greeted me was sweet and fruit-esque – like a fruit made out of chemicals – and something just wasn’t quite right about it. The first taste confirmed my sweetness fears…the high fructose corn syrup levels were somewhere in the “sickening” range. In fact, the stuff was so sweet that ants could probably smell it from surrounding territories. I guess it’s designed that way so that when you die all alone in your (mom’s?) dark basement playing World of Warcraft the ants will discover your body and take care of the mess. So, Mountain Dew Game Fuel is really more than a beverage…it’s a public service.
But would I recommend it to people that don’t play World of Warcraft? Well, since I wouldn’t even recommend it to a weak-from-hunger WOW player I’m gonna have to say “no.” About the only use I can think of for this product would be to pour it on a dead body that you need to dispose, but that’s risky since the ant migrations would surely draw attention to your nefarious activities.